Ogden Nash on the common cold

The Cold of which researchers dream,
The Perfect Cold, the Cold Supreme.
This honored system humbly holds
The Super-cold to end all colds;
The Cold Crusading for Democracy;
The Führer of the Streptococcracy.

Bacilli swarm within my portals
Such as were ne’er conceived by mortals,
But bred by scientists wise and hoary
In some Olympic laboratory;
Bacteria as large as mice,
With feet of fire and heads of ice
Who never interrupt for slumber
Their stamping elephantine rumba.

A common cold, gadzooks, forsooth!
Ah, yes. And Lincoln was jostled by Booth;
Don Juan was a budding gallant,
And Shakespeare’s plays show signs of talent

God bless Ogden Nash. You can read the whole poem here. Undeterred by colds, I made it to the voting booth this week. I hope I didn’t leave any little Führers of Streptococcracy for other voters to pick up – unless they were voting differently than me, that is. Kidding, kidding.


3 thoughts on “Ogden Nash on the common cold

    1. Maria Post author

      That’s a wonderful way of putting it! Have you read Ogden Nash’s poem, “PG Wooster, Just as He Useter” ? I discovered it only today.


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