I think that I shall never see
An age so difficult as three.
The charming child with whom I’m blessed
Puts every mandate to the test.
Not one, or two times; rather more –
Times by the dozen, and the score.
Every grown-up is to him
A living, breathing jungle-gym;
And any food is second-rate
That’s not from someone else’s plate.
When grown-ups childlike lispings crave
He sits as silent as the grave;
Then, riding in the cart along,
Belts out a Monty Python song.*
He shrieks and tantrums, runs away,
Finds muddy spots in which to play,
Is like to turn my hair all gray;
I love him dearly anyway.
*The song was “I Like Chinese.” Did you know that Los Angeles has the third largest Chinese American population in the US? True fact. Young mothers everywhere: call a friend, go outside, make yourself a cup of tea, but do not chase away the afternoon doldrums by showing your children funny videos on YouTube, because it may come back to haunt you.